So I have really been tripping this week, but in a good way. I was driving around doing my side job delivering Chinese (yes a African American female works for Chinese take out spot I know its crazy but it works). So I was just driving no music no nothing and I realized that I was not thinking about anything. It was just quiet in my head, now life is far from perfect but I'm just fine. My mind is usually always running and for there to be no noise in my head I cant remember that ever happening.
I went to MJQ's last night which is a club anyone that knows me knows I don't like to dance, and i don't like clubs. I was having a full convo about how I don't like dancing prior to going out. But when I got there and the music was going, I didn't care anymore I just wanted to dance. It was so freeing to just be able to enjoy myself without feeling like I'm being judged by other people. And you know whats crazy is that I was the one that was judging myself the most. Once I stopped judging myself and just being free and cool with myself fails and all. A great elder always reminds me that my fails are not who I am as a person, not the totality of me, there are tons of things that I do well. I always have had an optimistic outward appearance and now I'm feeling optimistic on the inside as well.
All in all I'm just thankful that I'm finally get comfortable in my skin and owning the woman that I've became.
Yes I do believe that this is PEACE for me
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